Your 2011 New York Mets

A switch-hitting shortstop who bats lead-off, shows lots of power for both spots, fields the ball well, hits well, has a pretty good on-base percentage for a lead-off hitter, and, oh yeah, still has speed enough to spare to lead the majors in steals and triples. (And runs scored? If so, MVP.)
A switch-hitting, Gold Glove-caliber center-fielder who's a good hitter with decent power and tons of speed.
A Gold Glove third baseman who, if his career continues at its current pace for another decade or so, would be tied in Bill James' Hall of Fame Standards metric with, uh, Stan Musial, Rogers Hornsby, and Willie Mays.
A first baseman who looks to have Gold Glove potential, who has this penchant for flipping over railings to make highlight-reel catches and launching 450-foot bombs into the Shea Bridge, and whose adjusted OPS in his first full season was distinctly on par with the numbers put up by Adrian Gonzalez, Mark Teixeira, and Prince Fielder.
A catcher who, two years ago, hit over .320 in both AA-ball and the major leagues and who, despite the main knock against him's having always been his lack of power, cranked a ball over the grassy slope in right field out to the alligators in today's game.
A pair of corner outfielders who, as recently as 2008, hit 142 extra-base hits between the two of them and drove in 213 runs, one of whom is a switch-hitting Gold Glover. Granted, they're both coming off of injuries and suffer from being older than they used to be, but there's still lots of potential here.
One late reliever with a 100-mph fastball and what looks to be a wicked slider this year, one with one of the nastiest curveballs I've ever seen, and one with a great curveball and a great changeup who's been virtually untouched this spring.
Five actual starting pitchers, more than some teams can say. None of whom, let's be honest, exactly projects to be All-Star level, but each of whom you'd expect to give you a solid year's worth of starting pitching work.

Would somebody please remind me why this team is going to suck?